he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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