normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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