Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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