i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
