I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
