false alarm. still invincible.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
