that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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