butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
