no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Sober January is a disaster.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize