After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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