I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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