Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
it's like iHOP with fire
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
