Say something about gay babies.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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