the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
