i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
