there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
