so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
