Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize