omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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