We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
