dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
