He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
