I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
