I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
