Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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