just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
