Define "chronic" masturbator.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
