i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
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I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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