how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Someone shattered a urinal.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
