After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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