my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
