i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
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I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
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It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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