I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
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