i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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