So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
