just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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