Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
