At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
