so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
