so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
