the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
