You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
