BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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