He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
