Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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