I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
