Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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