I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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