they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
