return my video game
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
