Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
