He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
