I must be too annoying 4 u.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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