My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I need to calm my uterus...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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