Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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