my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
you made out with another girl for some wings
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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