He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
