Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
