i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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