Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Semen is not good for contacts.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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