Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
