god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
