Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Non-Jews are for practice
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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