called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
