If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
