So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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