you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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