These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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