Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
