So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We were destined to go to rehab together
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
