we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
